I write when I’m overcome with emotion. Whether I’m floating on air or tumbling over a cliff, I write. I’ve done a lot of writing in the past couple of years, not because my joy “overfloweth,” but because my tears do.
My husband asked me one day, “Are you depressed?” Well, let’s see. Nothing is fun anymore. I don’t want to leave the house. I can’t seem to get anything done. The clutter inside my head feels like the junk that’s piling up all over the house. I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. And, I’m crying every day. So, I don’t know. Am I?
He didn’t seem to know what to do with all of that, bless his heart. Since we met in high school 35 years ago, my husband has always had a big smile on his face. I believe God sent him to me to teach me how to be loving, joyful, and supportive like he is. And, I’m grateful for that. Truly, I am. It’s just difficult to show it when you’re buried in darkness and can’t seem to dig yourself out.
Oh, I come up for air from time to time. Sometimes the sun is shining for weeks before a thunder cloud rolls in again. That’s what’s so frustrating. Just when you think you’ve prayed enough, fought hard enough, resisted enough to finally get a glimpse of who you used to be before the storm...here it comes again.
That’s when I begin to equip myself. I start my day listening to Abide meditations, searching for those that lift me up, like “Pray Continually” and “Call to God in Trouble.” Then, when the storm hits, I cry out, “Lord, please help!” Sometimes the words get caught in my throat, and all I can do is look up. But, He is with me. I can feel it.
And, I read my Bible, clinging to the Scriptures that tell me how to put on the whole armor of God. I hold on tight to the one that says the joy of the Lord is my strength. The Word reminds me to resist the devil and he will flee from me. It says that I am more than a conqueror, and that I am delivered from the power of darkness.
Yes, this thing I am fighting has power. But, the Word tells me to be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might. I’m not alone. We are not alone! It’s important to remember that we are in battle, so that we don’t just curl up into a ball and wait for the enemy to stop kicking us. We must stand up, and fight back. There’s a powerful army at our disposal, just waiting for its marching orders.
Let’s meditate on these Scriptures for strength, speak them loudly above the flow of tears, and stand up rejoicing that the power that lives within us is greater than any force whose mission it is to keep us down...
Below is a meditation to help you work through seeking approval.
Leslie McGuffie writes about being in love with the Lord, and she loves sharing the wisdom He gives her about daily living. In her spare time she’s a wife, mother of six, and grandmother of three.Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @listen2leslie. Subscribe to her blog at listen2leslie.com where she currently writes about her journey reading the entire Bible in one year.